Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

Two weeks ago a woman by the name of Samantha Brick openly admitted to the fact that she thought herself to be attractive. Which part of that sentence is wrong?

None of it. But the outrage caused by her ‘admittal’ suggests that something is. Not with Samantha Brick, however, but with a society that criticises women individuals both for having too much self esteem, as well as for having not enough.

In 2011 alone more than 37,500 cosmetic surgery procedures took place. Cosmetic surgery as defined as “surgery performed to improve the appearance, rather than for medical reasons”. – Say what you will but that is a shockingly big number.

What is the (general) motivation behind this high number of cosmetic surgeries? Low self esteem, dissatisfaction with how we look and pressure to look like what we think we should look like. In the face of that — what is wrong with being confident?

And in a world where 50% of teenage girls think they are “too fat”, is there really something wrong with preaching the opposite of self doubt?

There are a wealth of self help books aimed at improving confidence. Why? Because it has been proven that self confidence aids people both in their health, their private and their public lives.

You know those girls who pinch at their thighs and cry to you about how fat/thin/ugly/stupid/short/tall they are? Yup. Very annoying. You know those ones who sit in the corner and refuse to speak up in the workplace? Yup. Unlikely to get hired and/or promoted. Same goes for men, of course. In the face of that — what the hell is wrong with being confident?!

Whether or not it should be the case is irrelevant. The fact remains that when someone is comfortable with how they look, it shows in their self esteem, in their levels of self respect, in the way they expect to be treated and in return in the way they treat other people.

Regardless of whether we want to admit it or not, the way we look plays a big role in how we feel about ourselves and in turn how we communicate with all that is outside of ourselves. It also affects how others look at you. After all, if you don’t believe in yourself – why the hell should anyone else?

And in a world which is so often dissatisfied, so fickle and so often seeking more, more, more in everything they have – is there really something so wrong with someone being satisfied? Content? Happy, even – in themselves?

Let’s put it this way… to all those who criticised Samantha for saying she was beautiful (it doesn’t matter whether or not, in fact, she actually is thought to be by the vast majority of people) do you wish you could be satisfied in yourself? When your daughter/son/brother/friend/sister come crying to you wishing they could be better/stronger/fatter/thinner… do you wish they could feel happy within themselves?

And when you find the answer to be yes, ask yourself — what the hell is wrong with being confident?

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5 thoughts on “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

  1. I read her Daily Mail article and found she came across as more insecure than someone who was shy about their appearance ever could. There is a difference between confidence and vanity. Rather than speaking about all the gifts men would buy her and the countless female friends she’s lost due to her “staggering” good looks, why not instead use her positive self-image to help others rather than simply promote herself? She also only helped antagonize the view that if women are beautiful, they are simply objects to be slobbered over by men and despised by other women. That’s not loving oneself and helping promote positive body image. It’s just being a delusional asshole.

  2. Although I can see how people could misconstrue her post as being vain and arrogant, I think she was trying to make a point that being beautiful also has a negative side. I know for me personally, I have been judged by other females and given jobs based on how I looked vs. my skill set. Not that I have it worse than people who may be seen as unattractive, but I will agree with you that I don’t think we should attack those who are confident. But as the commenter above me said, there really is a difference between being confident and being conceited. Most people thought Samantha was being conceited when she wrote that article, but I also think a lot of people’s anger was really about their own insecurities rather than the actual article.

  3. I wholeheartedly agree with the points you’re making (and, in fact, thanks for letting me know I’m not mad and alone for trying to hammer across these points to my ex-girlfriend for years) but I don’t think Samantha Brick is the pin-up example you’re looking for.

    When you look at her comments, it is obvious that she is actually a deeply insecure person. I’ve met plenty of people like that who, unfortunately, get so wrapped up in looks and popularity at an early age that, when they don’t get their own way in life or face rejection (or even approval), they automatically assume it is because of what is on the surface and couldn’t possibly be a bigger indictment of the state of their character. Or lack of it.

    And there are plenty of people that behave in this way in public places. Making a little too much noise and hype to play for attention and mask the insecurity.

    I think it’s a different case entirely from the other point you’ve made that is: yes, the proof is in the pudding and most of the time attractive people enjoy success simply because they do a good job and put in work of taking care of themselves. It doesn’t matter whether you’re born stunning or an ugly duckling, as long as you put out the best version of yourself to the world everyday, you walk around with a swagger that accounts for attracting success. It’s just the facts of life, and I think it’s fair for everyone.

    I’ve grown really tired of the mentality here in London, UK where people drag each other down into a sea of mediocrity and binge drinking to get by. In Italy or Beirut, you can’t mess around with going out in public in some slacks or casual clothes, and that is where I feel most comfortable for some reason.

    Anyway, sorry for the rant but you touched up something I feel really passionate about. one of the biggest fallacies and mental poverty traps running in the world today. Sean.

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