“Seek not every quality in one individual.”

We have friends to party with. Friends to eat with. Friends to cry to and friends to laugh with. But for some reason we expect our ‘significant others’ ie boyfriend or girlfriend to have all the above qualities, and more.

It’s kind of ridiculous really. Love blinds and makes you think the person you are with is perfect. Making it all the more shocking when you stumble upon the revelation that they aren’t. Because… duh… how could they be?

That’s not to say find a ‘partner’ for each of the qualities you wish to have fulfilled, I don’t condone cheating. But it seems heaping expectations on to a person will do nothing more than drive you both nuts. Them, for being unable to live up to your expectations. And you, for knowing your expectations are unreachable but still expecting them to be fulfilled anyway. As Shakespeare said “expectations are the root of all heartache.”

But we all have friends, we all have families, we all have the best friend thats present in ourselves (this is starting to sound very much like a puke worthy sermon, but it needs to be said, and I need to say it). That’s why I don’t understand why some people, once in a relationship abandon their friends and seem to only have time for that one person. They don’t have everything you seek. They can’t be EVERYTHING you need. Try make them sit and gossip with you, or wreak havoc like you’re used to doing with that one friend, or try make them talk to you about the shape of your shit (if that’s the kind of thing you like to talk about) and see how well and how long that lasts you.

I guess the best you can do is “be the love you seek,” and love yourself more.

This doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships of course, but can also apply to relationships with friends or family members. Just like in ‘act without expectation‘, sometimes it seems you need to just do you. After all, ‘the longest relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.’ Everything else is a plus. Just take it for what it is. “Seek not every quality in one individual.”

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3 thoughts on ““Seek not every quality in one individual.”

  1. Very insightful, loved the Shakespeare comment 🙂
    What usually happens is that we see (in relation to love only) a couple who are our friends and then we see them talk about stuff that we don’t talk about. What we do not realize is that every relationship is not the same and we must understand that we are different from others 🙂

  2. Sooner or later life hits you with the stages where you realise you can’t have everything and sacrifices must be made. Having a relationship with that one other person is a commitment that takes time away from everything else, it’s inevitable. So it would be better to find someone that does provide everything you need to keep the fire lit under you to have the self-motivation for you to keep growing. That’s all really, that one quality. So simple yet very hard to find, and it’s hard to roll with the changes and keep growing together. Quite a feat to achieve indeed.

    All the best.

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